If you feel like it’s challenging to ask for what you want and express your needs, you’re not alone. Maybe it’s because you fear the way people may react or judge you. Or, maybe you feel you don’t deserve to express your feelings. Perhaps the reason you avoid these types of conversations is that you simply don’t know what to say. Here are some tips to help you communicate what you want and need.
I often hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “You’ll never know until you ask.” Or “The worst thing they can say is ‘no’.” Well, don’t ever be afraid to ask. And next time you do, use these tips:
- Know in advance what you’re asking for
- Know why it’s important to you
- Check in with yourself about how much you want whatever it is — make sure you’re okay if the answer is no, and if so, if you’re willing to compromise
- Communicate what you want using “I” statements
- Be confident
- Be kind
- Be gracious and express gratitude — even if you don’t get what you want
If you got what you want, great! If not, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask again. It just means you may have to try again later.